The Story of Channukah

When the land of Israel was under King Antiochus

The rules that he made would really have shocked us!

Everyone single person had to live just like a Greek,

Worshipping Greek gods and working the whole week.

The Jews that were living in this part of Ancient Greece

Decided it was better if they just kept the peace:

“It couldn’t really hurt if we just work on Shabbes,

We don’t want all the Greeks to turn around and snub us!”

Mattathias was a Jew and he had five pious sons.

He didn’t like the way the Greeks treated everyone.

His sons were Yochanan and Yonatan and Shimon making three,

Plus Elazar and finally there was Judah the Maccabee.

Judah said, “Those rotten Greeks, I’ve really had enough

Of Moussaka and Tragedies and all that other stuff.

Who wants to come and fight with me for our right to be Jews?

If we all pray throughout the night, we surely will not lose!”

The Jewish army was quite small but had God on their side;

The Greeks took one look at them and ran away to hide.

So everyone gave a cheer for Judah and his kin

Then ran towards Jerusalem to celebrate their win!

On entering Jerusalem the soldiers caught a fright;

The city had been burnt and was a very sorry sight.

The temple was in ruins and everything had gone

So they set about to clean it, they scrubbed until it shone.

The Jews rebuilt the altar in the Temple straight away

And to celebrate their victory declared a big feast day.

But they couldn’t find the oil to light up the menorah

That stood in the temple as commanded in the Torah.  

On the twenty fifth of Kislev a pot made out of clay

Was found with enough oil inside to last for just one day.

But a miracle occurred, the miracle of lights;

The oil lasted eight whole days and eight whole happy nights!

Generations: A Contemporary Story of Immigration for Parashat Toldot

In the sixties a new family moved to our block

From some foreign land, not really our stock.

Their skin was dark and their accents weird

And the men all sported a bushy great beard.

The fella was quiet, at least he seemed that way,

Went to work and then came home each day.

The wife was quite different, a right little madam;

Had these two kids then regretted she’d had’em.

The boys were quite odd, not at all like each other;

No one believed they were really twin brothers.

The oldest was coarse, an oafish young brute,

The younger a charmer, wide-eyed but astute.

Yom Kippur 2011 - Room to Swing a Chicken!

"The homes are unusually noisy.  The fowls, their legs tied, cluck and crow at the top of their voices.  It generally happens, too, that a rooster gets excited and begins to run and fly all over the house, despite his bound feet, and there follows a long struggle to subdue him.

First the fowl is held in the hand and everyone read selections from certain Psalms, beginning with the words, "Sons of Adam".  Then the fowl is circled above the head nine times, the following being recited at the same time:  "This is instead of me, this is an offering on my account, this is in expiation for me, this rooster, or hen, shall go to his, or her, death and may I enter a long and healthy life.

The greatest ado is in the yard of the shochet, the ritual slaughterer, where the Kaparos are taken to be slaughtered after the above ceremony has taken place.  Only the poorer Jews carry there Kaparos to the shochet, however.  The well-to-do have the shochet call at their home and dispatch the fowls there.  For there should be no time lost between the Kaparos ceremony and the slaughtering of the fowl."

(Hayyim Schauss, The Jewish Festivals, p.150)

Hard though it may be for us to believe, this ritual, described here by Hayyim Schauss, is a Jewish ritual for Yom Kippur.  The Kaparot ritual originated in Babylonia in the tenth century and was particularly popular in Eastern Europe in the late middle ages and, although frowned upon by Progressive Jews and many Orthodox Jews too, it is still practiced today in certain communities.

Atem Nitzavim: A Yom Kippur Ode

"Atem nitzavim hayom kulchem lifnei Adonai Eloheichem"

"You stand this day, all of you, before the Eternal One your God"

Atem nitzavim…

You stand up to show respect to others and in a place of worship to show respect to God.  You stand up to recite certain prayers and confessions, as a physical expression of a cognitive process.  You stand up at other times to begin a journey, in fact, you start every day by standing up.

Atem nitzavim…

You stand before God, standing in prayer, standing together as a community, standing as an individual, standing still, just being you.

Parashat Ha'azinu: The Power of Listening

"Give ear, O heavens, let me speak!"  (Deuteronomy 32:1)

During the Ten Days of Repentance, we seek to make amends for all our transgressions of this past year.  The hardest and the most important place to do this is in our relationships with others.

When we have a disagreement with a colleague, when we distance ourselves from a friend, when a family feud develops with a relative; we form a narrative in our own mind.  This narrative tells us what happened and why we are angry or hurt but it rarely tells us why the other person is angry or hurt.

Relationships break down, crimes are committed and wars are fought because everybody walks around with a set of narrative so strong that it leaves no space for alternative versions.

Rosh Hashanah 2011: V'yeilchu Shneichem Yachdav.

And the two of them walked on together.

Twice in the Binding of Isaac, we read these words.  When Abraham leaves the servants at the foot of Mount Moriah, he and Isaac continue the journey alone:

"And Abraham took the wood for the sacrifice, and laid it on Isaac, his son.  He himself carried the fire and the knife; and the two of them walked on together."

(Genesis 22:6) 

The father and son then engage in a brief conversation.  It is quite clear from the narrative that the basic situation has not changed; they have not been joined by others, they have not parted company and they are still walking and yet we are told this fact again.

Rosh Hashanah Sermon 2010

"The only reason for being a bee that I know of is making honey....and the only reason for making honey is so I can eat it."  (Winnie the Pooh in 'The House at Pooh Corner')

Honey is perhaps the original superfood. Mesolithic rock paintings in Spain that are thought to be over 10,000 years old show women collecting honey from a wild bee nest. Since then, in every part of the world, people have kept bees, collecting their honey and using its delicious natural sweetness in baking and cooking, in drinks and deserts and, of course, drizzled on apples.


For nearly 3,000 years, honey has been used for its medicinal qualities; as an antiseptic for cuts and burns; as an antibiotic for infections and sore throats; as an antiallergenic for pollen-related hayfever; and more recently, as an antioxidant for boosting the body's defenses against serious illness. Certain varieties, like New Zealand Manuka Honey, have become incredibly popular in recent years as an all-round healing miracle food.

Rabbinic Ordination Speech, July 2011

In December 2004, I filled in an application form to join the Rabbinical programme at Leo Baeck College.  "Question E3:  Please state your reasons for wishing to enter the progressive Rabbinate."

My response was based on Hillel's famous idiom: Im ein ani li, mi li?  Uch'sh'ani li ma ani?  Im lo achshav, eimatai?  If I am not for myself, who will be for me?  When I am only for myself, what am I?  If not now, when?

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?  

Having rediscovered a passion for Judaism and Jewish community through my academic studies towards a degree in theology and through meeting Rabbi Margaret Jacobi and becoming involved with Birmingham Progressive Synagogue, I wanted the opportunity to fill my days with Jewish learning.

Challenging Fashion on Parashat Tetzaveh

Isaac Bashevis Singer once said: “What a strange power there is in clothing.”  Fashion magazines, makeover shows and Trinny and Susanna tell us the same thing.  From 80s power-dressing to the classic understatement, the message is clear – you are what you wear!

This week, God instructs Moses to make the priestly clothing for Aaron and his sons ‘for honour and for adornment’ (Exodus 28:2).  Employing only the most skilful craftsmen, Moses is to have vestments made for the community leaders who will serve God as priests; ‘a breast piece, an ephod, a robe, a fringed tunic, a headdress, and a sash’ (Exodus 28:4).  And the vestments are to be made of only the finest materials: ‘gold; blue, purple, and crimson yarns; and fine linen' (Exodus 28:5).

It would seem that God agrees with Trinny and Susanna!  It is very important that the priestly clothing is not only suitable and functional but also aesthetically beautiful; one could even say glamorous.  The rich colours and textures, the dramatic headdress and sash, the elaborate fringes and jewellery; would have gone together to create a remarkable fashion statement.

Some Toilet Talk for Parashat Ki Tetze 2011

There is a Jewish custom that one does not think about God or sacred things on the toilet.  As far as I know, however, the custom does not work both ways and it is permissible to think about the toilet in God's sacred spaces.  So I will proceed with caution with my sermon.

As far back as I can remember, I have been aware of the battle of the toilet seat.  My mother used to chastise my father and later on my brother for leaving the toilet seat up!  At university, we lived in a mixed house in our second but we made sure there was a girls' bathroom and a boys' bathroom to avoid an inevitable conflict over the positioning of the toilet seat.

For many years, I only lived with female flatmates and was surprised and quite put-out every time a male visitor had the audacity to leave our toilet seat in its upright position.  It is, it would seem, an unwinnable battle that began when the modern toilet was invented by Thomas Crapper in 1861 and will continue for as long as we continue to need toilets (which, I assume, will be forever).

Yom Kippur Sermon 2009

I have an Israeli friend and like most Israelis who are not ultra-orthodox, he is almost completely secular.  His family gather for big meals when they have a day off work for the festivals but the idea of attending Synagogue or observing Shabbat is completely alien to her.  He is Israeli before she is Jewish.

He once told me about a time when he had spent the summer in England and had picked apples with a group of other young travellers on a farm down in Kent.  One night, their caravans were raided by the Immigration police and those without work permits were put into prison cells for a couple of nights before being sent back to their own countries.

When I heard this, I was fascinated to hear what it must be like in an English prison.  I wanted to know everything!  How big was the cell?  What were the beds like?  Were there bars on the windows?  And finally, the most important question of all: What is British prison food like?

“Oh,” he said casually, “I don’t really know. It was Yom Kippur!”